It's hard to avoid the 800lbs. gorilla in the room so I am to just say this about the tragedy that transpired today, in the form of an open letter to future psychos.
Dear Psychos,
If you are going to go on a murder/suicide rampage, please do the suicide part first. Thanks!
Sincerely, Elliot
On with blag.
On the MySpace I spoke often of my "Grr Face". It's an expression I often wore to ward off anyone trying to f with me as I walked down the street. I enjoyed marginal success with this look, I say marginal because even though the face looked bad ass my body structure couldn't exactly back it up. So the Grr Face had to evolve, and I went back to the drawing board. On the bus in order to avoid eye contact with the pretty girl who just got on, I would stare out the window at an attempt to look deep. I called this one "The Listless Gaze". This worked really well because to my knowledge no attractive females ever looked over at me. Nor did any come and sit by me and say "Wow, your morose demeanor is so hot, let's do it right here on this gross seat!" Yet, when I combined the gaze with the Grr Face, I hit some true innovative gold.
I call it "The Thousand Yard Eyes". It mixes the right amount of crazy stare, that the common crack head does so effortlessly, with that "fuck the world, I'm pretty special over here" attitude that you need when you are assailing these cold Seattle streets. This look was great! I was able to keep my rather quick walking pace and not have to worry about being stopped by people asking for directions, or how to become a better tennis player. This one was working well, that was until this morning.
....I am interrupting this post because my Comcast licks my balls. I wanted to finish this post hours ago but due to circumstances beyond my control, I cannot. My internets are spotty at best so I am going to post what I have now, for the sake of posterity. I will finish this entry after the Comcast tech. fixes our intertubes. In the mean time please peep my future roommates blog, and look forward to next week's postings because I am sure to have some stories from over the weekend due to the fact that a couple of friends from the eastern edge of these United States are visiting.
I am seriously stoked to see you guys! Sorry for the cliff hanger.
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2 comments:
dude you need to stop fucking around and capture Adams "fish eye" look, it's either a lady killer or slight creepy, and by slightly I mean more chester-ish. altogether is sounds right up your alley.
Did our future roommate steal your blogspot layout...or did you steal his??
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