common is a sell-out

Let's talk about commercials. I hate'em, you hate'em, we all hate'em. However, lately there has been a rash of commercials that I have been really enjoying. Let's start with my muse for this post. It's a Gap commercial, entitled "Boyfriend Trousers".

Did you like it? It's actually pretty hard to resist, I know this because I have spoken to many others about this advert and they agree with me. This ad is mega-twee. Yes, that is none other than Claire Daines prancing (floating on air powered only by her uber-cuteness) around in those rather hot little silken boxers and an over sized shirt, while Peter "Did anyone see the Phantom of the Opera the movie? No? Well, maybe I'll land a role that you will give a shit about soon." Wilson hams it up as her "boyfriend". Yes his middle name is that long, here's the acronym: D.A.S.P.O.M.N.W.M.L.R.T.Y.W.G.S.A.S.? If that isn't enough they are rocking out to none other than "Anything You Can Do" from the Broadway show, "Annie, Get Your Gun." I am kind of gay for knowing that, but now you can share in my gayness. The only thing that bothers me about this commercial is the fact that no girl, no matter how hot she is, looks good in her boyfriend's pants, even to their boyfriends. Though to be honest, most girls would look a lot better in my pants than I do, mainly because I have a rather girlish figure, minus the breasts, hips and booty. Oh, and the ample endowment of my generous package. I know those last two sentences were awkward, but if you think about them for a minute they make sense.

Another commercial that I like? Why it's the new one from Right Guard, featuring one of the most alluring women I have ever seen. Not since those 'Why wait' commercials from Snickers have I wanted to purchase a product more. I see this campaign and think; "Holy christ! All I have to do is switch to RGX body spray instead of AXE, and I will avoid the avalanche of girls I am so stealthfully dodging, and will somehow end up with a moderate skirt wearing brunette with almond shaped eyes, a coyly unbuttoned shirt, and perfect skin?! Where can I buy a case of this amazing shit?"

Some of the other spots I really like are the Geico ones with the cavemen, and the HP ads with the people dancing, mainly because they are so technically brilliant. So where am I going with this? Well, I think advertisers and the people who create ads have really begun to figure out what works. With the exception of those abhorrent Chevy ads, in which we are forced to listen to that mega-cheesy, ear bleedingly awful country song, while being subjected to "manly" imagery. Those commercials have the exact opposite effect on me than the two I mentioned above. They make me feel hate for people who buy trucks, enjoy country music, and own farms. Normally, I wouldn't hate these people, I grew up around people that love trucks, Hank Williams, and the American Way. But Christ, if I don't want to weep for this nation every time I hear those hackneyed lyrics sung. You want to know who sings that? John Mellancamp! Have you listened to the whole song? He uses every cliche in the book and then writes a few of his own. But that's an entry all it's own.

Thats about all I have to say about that stuff. I wanted to be more poignant here but I am already late with this post. I do want to tell you about a couple of interesting things I'm pretty into right now.

1: The new Andrew Bird album is out and it is fucking rad.

2: Wayne Coyne of The Flaming Lips recently stated in a interview that they are turning the album "Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots" into a Broadway musical. It just so happens that I will be in New York when it is said to be in production so I am pretty stoked for that. You should be too.

3: Tune in tomorrow when I will be posting my Top Secret bi-weekly feature. You will hopefully not be disappointed.

Thanks for always being there for me interwebs!